Learning my conditioning, social programming and learned behavior are the biggest revelation of my life. It has taken me years of counseling, meditation, hypnosis, podcasts, and daily practice of meditation to become aware of my personal weaknesses and I am still not perfect. I still make wrong decisions sometimes and lose my emotional intelligence but I have to trust I will get better with each test. I also recover emotionally from every failed decisions faster each time. My positive self-talk helps me have faith I did the best I could, got the lesson I needed and move on.
There are so many layers and they are revealed one by one in perfect timing. Life is all about timing. We have to trust the timing and have faith that we are exactly where we need to be.
I believe each lesson comes just in time. Being in Big Bear with my family has been a good reflection for me to see how far I have come and a mirror of what I still need work on. My family and I have so many similarities even though they all have kids. We have similar dating habits because of our cultural programming and generational learned behaviors. They are very unhealthy dating patterns but it’s all we know. It takes so much courage, discipline and time to take off the layers. It takes work to get to the root of the brain settings. Self-awareness and self-refection is a must.
This is why I always question my thoughts. The layers of conditioning, social programming and learned behaviors needs a full unmasking. We can be in denial for so long before the pain is so deep we can no longer ignore that we need to engage with our SUPREME POWER!
Conflicts arose this weekend between my sisters and I–this is nothing new. This too is our pattern. Detaching myself from my family in the past after big altercations like this weekend has been the best thing I could do for my inner peace and taking off the layers of previous programming. As much as it hurts to stay away from them it has to be done. I don’t need to be mad anymore, or upset. Just done. I can choose who to see and who not to. I have a choice to release the feelings of anger. I have a choice of what to feel, so I choose to feel compassion & happiness. I trust that this was the chosen family for me for a reason and a lesson. It was to show me a perspective I could not have seen elsewhere. All I could do is love myself and choose to be happy–that helps me and the world.
Friends, it feels so good to vent and remind myself of all these things. Just saying it to the universe helps me process my thoughts and feelings. I am so grateful for this blog and that I have been consistent for almost 50 days. Our learned behaviors and social programming can change if we do the work, if we have the courage to go through it–the dark feelings and realizations. I will continue to raise my vibrations to vibrate at a higher frequency to draw only greatness into my life. I release the control and trust the Universe is created by God perfectly in perfect timing. God works in mysterious ways is an understatement, but the truth.
Today’s food & workout recap:
Total food calories for today: 1,681 = (158g, 37% Carbohydrates / 71g, 38% Fat / 107g, 25% Protein)
My last meal with the brownie was at 4pm and I didn’t eat after that. I reserved my carb calories for this extra yummy food and I will make sure to fast for 16 hours until my next meal. I also made sure I did a longer cardio workout before enjoying that treat. I am so close to the end and that was my first cheat meal so I don’t even feel bad!
Change more than just your body