I’ll never forget that moment when I woke up one morning after month four of trying to conceive, I went to the bathroom, and saw my period had arrived.

Again.

That was three years ago when I first started trying to get pregnant. I was finally ready to commit to motherhood and nothing was happening. I started to feel like I waited too long, like something was wrong with my body. This reality hit me hard. I sacrificed having a family for my career. I had pushed back having children so many times in my 20’s & 30’s because the only thing that mattered to me was building my business. You can understand why when esas cucarachas tried to come and take my baby, aka business, away with the malicious lawsuit, I felt like why did I do it, why did I sacrifice everything for my business? This is when I felt maybe I had made a mistake. 

After countless cycles, appointments, and prayers, I finally reached a place this past summer where I began to accept that maybe it wasn’t in God’s plan for me to become a mother in the way I thought I would. And it wasn’t easy. The journey wasn’t just about not being pregnant—it was about reconciling the dreams I had, with the life I was actually living. Coming to a place of acceptance was incredibly liberating, but it wasn’t without its moments of sadness, grief, anger, and frustration.

The Grief and Sadness I Had to Process

In the beginning, I couldn’t understand why it wasn’t happening. I felt sad, hopeless, and at times, angry. How could it be that so many women around me—some even younger than me—could get pregnant so quickly? I was seeing friends who tried once and were expecting within the first month. Social media only made it worse—everyone seemed to have an easier time than I did. And the longer the journey went on, the more it began to feel like a personal failure.

At first, I started to doubt my body. Was it me? Was something wrong? Then came the bargaining stage—what if I tried IVF? But then I would hear stories of women who tried multiple rounds of IVF with no success, and the frustration began to build.  I am a very ambitious person so the fact it was out of my control was hard. In those moments of deep questioning, I realized something important: I was losing my faith. I was operating from a place of fear. I was afraid it wasn’t going to happen for me, and that fear was poisoning everything, making me resentful instead of hopeful. But in that very moment, I also realized I had a choice. I could choose fear or I could choose faith.

Choosing Faith Over Fear

Faith is a powerful feeling, just as fear is. But faith is freeing. It may feel scary at times, but faith empowers you to trust in something greater than yourself. I made a decision that changed everything: I decided to focus on my faith. Instead of being afraid of the unknown, I chose to believe that God had a plan for me, whether or not it involved children. I began to trust that if it was meant to be, it would happen in God’s timing.

Letting go of that constant fear and pressure was one of the most liberating moments of my life. It’s like I finally found peace, and that peace was the key to unlocking a new level of growth and gratitude in my life. I began to shift my focus from what I didn’t have to what I already did. I started appreciating the beautiful things in my life—my amazing husband, my career, my family, my health, and the incredible people around me. And with that shift in perspective came a deep sense of relief.

Finally getting pregnant after 3 years

Finding out I was pregnant on my honeymoon brought up new fears. I had just taken the leap to get married. Marriage had been something I was holding back to do again after 2 failed marriages. But sometimes, life has a way of knocking us down and forcing us to look at things through a new lens. And for me, that moment came with the unexpected loss of my little Minnie. 

When Minnie passed away last year, I was devastated. But as I grieved, something shifted in me. I realized how precious time is and how little control we really have over it. We are not promised tomorrow. That moment of loss pushed me to finally ask myself: Why was I waiting? Why was I letting fear dictate my life, especially when it came to marriage?

Within a month of Minnie’s passing, I was planning my wedding. I couldn’t wait to marry the man I loved and to begin a new chapter of my life.

You’ll see the video of my wedding soon, and I can’t wait to share those moments with you. I will cherish them forever because I chose faith over fear.

A Leap of Faith and Gratitude

When you’re in a place of fear, it’s easy to get stuck in what-ifs. For me, that was the fear of the unknown. But I knew that in order to live my fullest life, I had to stop letting fear take over. And so, I took a leap of faith.

As I planned my wedding and embraced the life I was building with my love, I also chose gratitude. I stopped worrying about what I didn’t have and began appreciating everything I did. I focused on the man I loved and the life we were creating together. In fact, I became so content in the moment that I let go of the desire to have children altogether. I had turned 41, and I thought I was ready to give up on that dream.

But God had other plans.

A Miracle at the Right Time

After getting married, we had decided that we weren’t going to actively try for a baby. In fact, my husband was planning to get a vasectomy right after the wedding. We had accepted that maybe having children just wasn’t in the cards for us. But there’s a saying, “When you stop trying is when it happens,” and for me, that couldn’t have been more true.

I stopped stressing, stopped obsessing, and finally, I relaxed. I trusted in God’s plan. And then the most amazing thing happened: I found out I was pregnant.

Here’s the twist—this was right after our wedding. It almost felt like a wedding gift from God. But I had no idea at the time. In fact, I had already missed my period by seven days, but I wasn’t even thinking about pregnancy. I thought maybe I was just stressed from all the wedding planning.

The day before the wedding, I joked with my sister, “Can you imagine if I were pregnant right now? Right before the wedding?” But I didn’t really think it was possible. Two days after our wedding, we were on our honeymoon in the Maldives when I finally took a pregnancy test. I walked into the bathroom, took the test, and the longest five minutes of my life began.

I went back into the room to join my husband, and we sat there in suspense. We didn’t know what to expect. And when I saw those two lines—the ones that would change our life forever—I just froze.

I was in shock. I couldn’t speak. I had no words. My husband started panicking, convinced that two lines meant negative. He was so confused and worried. And me? I couldn’t process the reality of what was happening.

Even though we had been trying for three years, at that moment, we had already accepted that it probably wasn’t going to happen. We were too old, maybe his sperm wasn’t working, maybe my eggs were too old—it was a constant cycle of doubts. But now, God’s plan had arrived in a way neither of us expected.

Grateful for God’s Timing

When I look back, I know that the reason I couldn’t get pregnant earlier wasn’t because something was wrong with me. It was because of the stress I was under. For years, I was fighting a malicious lawsuit, dealing with people attacking my character, and facing a lot of challenges that caused me to stress out. Not to mention, getting back with my first husband was incredibly stressful—we were working through old patterns, and we even went to therapy. I believe all of that stress had a huge impact on my body.

But during the time I let go of that stress, I finally became open to receiving the blessing I had been longing for. I’ve learned that God doesn’t always give us what we want when we want it. Instead, He prepares us for it.

Years ago, I prayed to God to grow my business. For the first 10 years, I wasn’t living in abundance, but God was shaping me, building character, and preparing me for the success I would eventually experience. Just like with my business, God needed to prepare me for the miracle of becoming a mother.

Now, I’m 15 Weeks In and Feeling Blessed

As I enter my second trimester, I feel incredible. I’m sticking to my health routine, making sure I eat the right foods, and doing everything I can to keep my baby growing strong. I’m committed to giving this child everything they need, physically and emotionally, to thrive.

And though we still have moments of fear, I’m so grateful we chose to trust God’s plan. It wasn’t an easy decision; we even had conversations about the possibility of terminating the pregnancy, but we both knew deep down that we had to let God decide our path.

Choosing Faith: A Message of Hope

If you’re struggling with the wait, with the uncertainty, or with not getting what you’ve been praying for, I want to share one thing with you: Keep the faith. God’s plan is always bigger than ours, and His timing is perfect. If it’s meant to be, it will be. I have a healthy baby growing inside me, and even though I didn’t get pregnant when I planned to, I now realize that God was preparing me for this miracle in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

So if you’re trying to become a mom or facing any challenge in your life, just remember: it’s okay to choose faith over fear. Let go of control and trust that everything is unfolding exactly as it should.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me. I can’t wait to share more as my story unfolds, and I hope that it gives you hope as you walk your own path.

WITH LOVE,