Food is a touchy subject. We’re all guilty of having an unhealthy relationship with food sometimes, whether it’s because we’re emotional eaters or just lack self-control around that bowl of ice cream. Unfortunately, sometimes our relationship with food is exactly what holds us back from our weight loss goals. Learn how to change your relationship with food and lose weight faster. 

Growing up, I never learned about nutrition or how to care for my body. By the time I was in my twenties, after getting injured playing soccer, I began using alcohol and food to numb my pain. I gained 50 pounds and ended up weighing almost 200 pounds!

During my chubby days, as I call them, I felt ashamed by my weight. My dad made matters worse by making negative comments about my eating and my body. I started hiding sweets and eating in secret because I was ashamed to eat in front of him.

That shame and hiding gave food extra power over me. I had to do a lot of internal work to develop a healthy relationship with food before I could successfully change my body and it is still something I work on today with my therapist. Know that you are not alone. 

If you aren’t sure how to change your relationship with food, don’t worry – this post will give you all the tools you need. Instead of being ruled by cravings and guilt after eating something “bad,” you can have control, and peace of mind, over what goes into your mouth. 

What is the link between your relationship with food and weight loss?

Say it with me, friends: food is not the enemy. Food exists to nourish us, keep us healthy, and give us energy.

If you are constantly labeling foods as good or bad, restricting your eating to the point that you are starving by the end of the day or limiting yourself to only certain foods, not only are you damaging your metabolism but you are also making the battle that much harder for yourself.

Weight loss is not just a physical process. It is a mental journey as well. One study found that you can lose five times more weight by training your mind as well as your body! And you know I always say, to change your body you must change your mind. 

Food is not good or bad. All food is OK in moderation. We have to learn to love ourselves enough to make healthy choices for our bodies instead of focusing our fight on specific foods that we believe make us fat. Limiting or eliminating food that makes us feel sick or bloated is loving our body, we just have to leave out the judgement. 

What does it mean to have a good relationship with food?

A good relationship with food is finding balance within your diet. It means eating because you’re hungry and stopping when you’re 80% satisfied. The stomach needs room to move things around, it’s crucial for digestion. A healthy relationship with food also means viewing food as nourishment to meet our body’s physical needs and nothing else. 

What is an unhealthy relationship with food?

An unhealthy relationship with food is when you label foods as good and bad. It means feeling guilty for eating certain things, restricting yourself from the types of food that you enjoy or even punishing yourself after a meal because you made “bad choices”.

What is disordered eating?

Keep in mind, there are different levels of unhealthy relationships with food. Struggling to put down the bar of chocolate is one thing. If you find yourself obsessing over food every minute of every day, making yourself sick after eating or restricting calories to the extreme, you may be struggling with disordered eating or food addiction.

If food is controlling your life, it’s time to reach out for help. Food is a tool. It is not the master.

If you feel trapped or controlled by food, don’t be ashamed to reach out for extra support. Confide in a friend or a counselor.  Seeing a counselor for mental health struggles is just like seeing a doctor for problems with your physical body.

There is no shame in that. Seeking extra support does not make you weak. It means you are exceptionally strong. It takes courage to ask for help. 

You deserve to be free. You deserve to be healthy. Don’t be ashamed to give yourself the tools you need to get well.

What is emotional eating?

Emotional eating is when you use food to deal with your feelings.

Emotional eating is one of the most common ways that people deal with their feelings. When we’re feeling down, stressed, or anxious, it can be tempting to reach for a bag of chips or a pint of ice cream. Food can help us numb our feelings temporarily.

However, emotional eating is not a healthy way to deal with hard feelings. Not only does it often lead to weight gain, but it can also cause us to feel guilty and ashamed. We start to see food as the enemy, and we feel like we can’t trust ourselves around it. What I like to do when I feel anxious is choose movement. Exercise has become a healthy way for me to relieve stress and hard feelings. It releases the same feelings of dopamine in the brain that chocolate does. 

Do I have an unhealthy relationship with food?

Here is a quick quiz to see if you have an unhealthy relationship with food:

• Do you feel like certain foods make you fat and others that make you thin?
• Do you label yourself as “good” or “bad” depending on what types of foods you ate throughout the day?
• Do you feel guilty after eating different types of foods or restrict yourself from a certain food altogether?
• Do you find yourself overeating when you are overwhelmed by your emotions?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, you likely have an unhealthy relationship with food.

If so, it’s time to end that unhealthy relationship and start over.

How to Change Your Relationship With Food

Here are a few tips and tools you can use to change your relationship with food and develop healthier habits.

Keep in mind that each person is different. What works for me may not work for you. Try out different combinations of these tools until you find what’s most effective for you and your body.

Practice Intuitive Eating

What is intuitive eating, you ask?

Intuitive eating is when you view food as nourishment and not an enemy. It’s about tuning into what your body needs at the moment.

Intuitive eating can sometimes mean taking a break from tracking calories, weighing yourself or stepping on the scale.

Instead of focusing on numbers, it’s about reconnecting with your physical needs and how to best meet those needs. Intuitive eating is also about paying attention to what you’re putting in your body and how it makes you feel afterward. 

Consider keeping a food journal.

In this food journal, don’t just focus on what you eat, instead record how you feel emotionally and physically throughout the day. After a few days, look over your journal and see if you recognize any patterns of foods that make you feel physically ill or mentally unwell. 

Remember, you are not tracking food to shame yourself about the “good and bad” foods you’re eating. You are tracking foods to see how what you eat is affecting your body, mentally and physically.

This food journal template is a great guide to help you track your thoughts and feelings as well as the foods going into your body.

Practice mindful eating

What is mindful eating?

Mindful eating means that you are aware of what and how much you’re eating. It means slowing down, tuning in to your hunger and fullness cues, and paying attention to what is going into your body. This means eating with no distractions. Turn off the TV, put down your cell phone and be completely present with your food. 

Instead of just shoveling food into your mouth ask yourself:

• How does it taste?
• Do I like this?
• Do I feel satisfied?
• What is the texture like?
• What is the temperature of my food?

You could even count how many times you chew your food.

Make sure you eat slowly so that you give your body enough time to let you know when you’re full. It takes about 20 minutes for your brain to register that you are full. When you feel 80% full, stop eating.

Take care of your mind

Mental health sets you up to make better choices for your physical health.

If you are overwhelmed or feeling controlled by your relationship with food, consider seeking professional help. It does not matter your age, the number on the scale or what your body looks like, disordered eating can affect anyone. Disordered eating is not a problem of willpower. It is a mental and physical illness. If you need additional support, don’t be afraid to go to find it.

Have a schedule

Eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, and one snack on a regular schedule so that your body knows when it’s supposed to be hungry again. Routine is very important for your metabolism. 

Get enough sleep every night.

Lack of sleep can cause weight gain due to increased appetite and hormonal imbalance.

Set yourself up for success.

Take away temptations. If you are like me and simply can’t resist that gallon of ice cream in the freezer, stop buying ice cream. Instead, when you want to eat ice cream, go out and buy a single-serving. Not only is it a special trip but there’s no danger that you will overdo it.

Learn from setbacks.

If you overeat, or fill up on foods that aren’t the healthiest choice for your body, don’t punish yourself. Seek to learn from the experience. Reflect on the choices or events that led up to that moment and brainstorm ways you can prevent yourself from making the same choices in the future. This is where a food journal would help. 

Allow yourself to eat the things you love.

Everything is OK in moderation. Restricting certain foods can backfire in the long run. It causes stress in your body which could lead you to overeat the food that you labeled as forbidden the minute you get the chance. 

There are so many other factors that contribute to weight loss besides just the foods you eat! If you are looking for a lifestyle change, rather than just the latest fad diet that will leave you feeling defeated when it doesn’t work out, be sure to check out my YouTube Channel, Body By Gia. 

I’m passionate about holistic health and I want to help YOU find your healthy relationship with food so that you can start living life without weight holding you back!